HELP, I've Fallen into a Far Side Cartoon and I Can't Get Out

September 12 and 13, 2008

Studio Plus/Inn (not sure now), Winnie, TX


The day itself is a blur, I am sure we were watching the updates on Ike... Bop, Liz, me and the three kitties (when I went back to rescue the kitties I didn't even think about bringing Liz's albino mime frogs - Cheech and Chong - I like to think they made it, have been living in the bay and have grown to be massive in size, so if sometime in the future you see a news report about two freakish white sea creatures with black creepy eyes discovered in the bay - just smile knowingly). We were huddled around the (2' x 2') table in our tiny room (with one double bed and the roll-away from hell).

I seriously can't remember that day, the day part, I'm sure we played domino's and cards and tried to pass the time any way we could. There was no where to go, everything except the few convenience/gas places (which had no gas by now and little merchandise on the shelves, I apparently wasn't the only one who forgot to pack food) was closed. I do remember us debating whether or not to drive to Crowley Lousiana (where Chris lives) or Sugarland (to Tom's) but we still believed we'd be able to go home when the storm had passed and wanted to stay close.

I recall happy hour started early, we had a routine at the Seahoose, when the day's work was done we would gather 'round the glass table to play a game while partaking in a cocktail (or two) as dinner cooked, so the oddity of playing games all day made it somewhat awkward not to also partake. The motel was full of fellow Crystalbeachers, we couldn't leave the door open 'cause of the kitties, but we visited when we went out to smoke. Everyone was supposing.....suppose this happens, suppose that...

Our next door neighbor was a friend of Liz's, a very strong, animated woman (with very large breasts) who was accustomed to being in charge. I'll call her Sally.

The power went out around 10pm and the fury began. Bop and Liz settled into bed and fell fast asleep, I, on the other hand, felt the adrenaline rush through my veins erasing any "partaking" from the day's games and was on full alert. We had mini lanterns in strategic places so I could see well enough should I have to act quickly. I took the bed spread off the bed, it's inhabitants mildly groaning, and put it over the drapery rod to shield them from the glass should the window blow in and then propped myself up on the roll-away in the middle of the room and just listened. There are no words to accurately describe the sound of a hurricane, the moments when you anticipate the walls coming down around you, and moments later just the sound of rain. I nearly jumped outta my skin when Liz's phone rang around 11, it was Sally, I told her Liz was asleep. Ten minutes later, the phone rang again, Sally was telling me we had to pray, Liz is ASLEEP I told her. Eight phone calls and an hour later, there's a knock on the door. By this time I am more than annoyed, with every nerve in my body having been startled every time the phone rang I wasn't in the mood to humor a neighbor whose adrenaline hadn't erased the day's "partaking"!


I (reluctantly) open the door and in whisks Sally with a flashlight in her hand, wearing nothing but her nightie (no undergarments, mind you, so the girls where beaming) followed by a woman in a wheelchair. Sally rushes to the bed..."Earl, Liz" she announces, "we HAVE to pray" and she immediately begins singing at the top of her lungs "How Great Thou Art"....I kid you not, it is after midnight, a hurricane is raging outside and this half naked lady is standing in our room singing a hymn (how did I get into this Far Side cartoon?). Liz sits up in bed, smiles at her friend, Bop stirs, opens his eyes and yells "Are you f**king crazy?"

I smile, feeling justified in my frustration, the lady in the wheelchair says "if it were my Dad he would have hit her by now"! Liz is patting Bop's chest to calm him down when suddenly Bop realizes he LIKES this song and starts to sing along, although without his teeth it was more like "How Grey Thou Are", but at least he wasn't pissed anymore. I am not believing this, I walk out into the hallway to stop myself from cussing her out during prayer time, Mama wouldn't like that.


Sally and the wheelchair lady did finally leave, it was likely only minutes but seemed like hours, there was, after all, a horrendous storm raging on the other side of a pane of glass. I resumed the position, constantly shifting my butt off the metal pole that ran through the middle of my "bed". The wind stripped the lock on the exit door to the building so the alarm sounded constantly and the door opened and slammed closed all night. Water was running down the walls, as if it were simply driven through the structure, it was wierd, by morning the carpet was completely soaked.


At daylight I ventured out, it was raining but the hell had passed. The destruction was everywhere. People were milling about, dazed and exhausted, exchanging stories of the night and hoping someone had some news about the beach. I knew we had to get Bop to Tom's as soon as possible, there was no running water and he had already gotten too many skin tears from getting him in and out of the car.


Sally was holding court from her open window, I suspect she had spent the night praying and partaking, she was trying to rally the people into believing we would all be back at the beach in a few days. I was packing the car and told her we were heading to Houston, so she came to the room to see Bop, still in her nightie, and sat on the edge of the bed near his face. Bop, hypnotized like a deer in headlights, listened intently as she told him she would be taking care of him and returning him to the beach, she had a RV outside, Bop and Liz would stay with her. She tried to overrule me by reassuring Bop that they were going home, oblivious to the news that was trickling out that Bolivar was submerged, and the highway from Winnie to High Island was flooded for miles. I let Bop enjoy the view, let her talk her fantasy and continued to pack the cars. I felt it best to keep busy or I might shake her til the girls beat her to death.

People are amazing in a crisis, someone made coffee on a camp stove, it was the best coffee I have ever tasted. Later they cooked breakfast for anyone who was hungry. We just wanted to get on the road. There was a woman in the parking lot who had spent the night in her car in the woods, she was hoping to find a vacancy, I told her our room was soggy with no clean linens, but available and paid for, she was thrilled. I wonder how things turned out for her.

We had decided to move the Trailblazer to the back of the building the day before so we could keep an eye on it with all our stuff inside, that must have been a Mama intervention, the next morning the huge hotel sign occupied the space where it had been! I was nearly finished packing before noticing the windshield was a spiderweb of cracks, but that was not gonna stop me, thank God for duct tape. I put Bop and Liz in my car, the kitties with me in the Trailblazer and off we went, those dam cats crawled all over me the entire way, if I hadn't risked so much to go back and get em I would've pitched them out the window! There were power lines and debris everywhere, but we made it to I10. Driving along, when we got to the area where the bridges cross the bay, I looked to the left and saw earth, not asphalt, up to the top of the concrete barrier, I thought for a second, are they re-routing the east bound lanes, til I came across a car with only the roof showing and realized the dirt had been stopped by the concrete barrier when the storm surge came through, what an unbelievable sight. Further down the road were a dozen or so tractors scooping up dirt and moving it to the side of the road while a line of cars waited. Everywhere we encountered a dangerous situation the Police were there to route us safely.

We made it to Tom's by the grace of God with Mama as co-pilot. We were blessed and comforted to be near family, and believe it or not, within a few hours the power came on. Coming full circle, we were once again glued to the news.